literature

THE TRUTH

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Literature Text

The screaming.
It never stopped anymore.
It never ended.

IT NEVER FUCKING ENDED.
THAT'S WHY I HAD TO DO IT!
I HAD TO DO IT, MOTHERFUCKER!

KARKAT SAID I SHOULD STOP, BUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER DIDN'T FUCKING UNDERSTAND!

I tried not to listen.
I tried everything else I could think of.

I just...

I couldn't stop them...


~HoNk~


I found that, when I did it, everything would get a little darker: my vision, my own voice, the colors of their blood. It would get especially bad at night, when Nepeta's high scream echoed off the walls and gave me no rest. I never seemed to sleep anymore. Tavros wasn't as warm as I last remembered him to be, and forcing his rigid arms around me only made my mind long for the days when he spoke in more than whispers and echoing breaths. Then, usually by the height of daylight, her wailing would start up...

Gamzee? Gamzee, please? Please don't hurt Equius...

I HAD TO DO IT! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND; SHE WOULD NEVER STOP!

...so I got tired of it. The wails, the screaming and crying, finally pitching into some kind of screech so continuous and high pitched it sounded more like a drill piercing the side of my brain. I stormed out of the hive, in broad daylight. It stung almost as much as Nepeta's voice, but I ignored all that. She was still screaming, there on the side of the lawn... She wouldn't stop... I didn't stop to think, I just...

I FUCKING TOOK THE CLUB AND SMASHED HER MOTHERFUCKING SKULL IN! THE FEEL OF BONE JUST FUCKING CRUMBLING BENEATH MY HAND! HOW CAN I DESCRIBE THAT MOTHERFUCKING FEELING? I CAN'T! I JUST FUCKING CAN'T!! IT'S TOO FUCKING DELIGHTFUL! ALMOST AS DELIGHTFUL AS--

...Tavros. I'd forgotten about him. The sun was so motherfucking bright, I had to shield my eyes from it. I only succeeded in hitting myself in the head, though, and pulled my hand away to find I had a club in my hand. When did I pick up the club? And it smelled of bad blood, hot blood that had sat in the sun, congealed into a sort of plasma-ridden jelly. Words weren't needed as I dropped the club. I'd seen myself do it, and the only satisfaction I felt was how she didn't scream anymore...but if she did... Turning, I saw once again my own handiwork, the blood dripping only by force of gravity and the gore slowly falling from one closed eye. I must have busted her eyeball...gross. I had to stop her from ever screaming again. If I just left her here, she'd be louder in revenge for this new beating.

KILL HER.

I don't want t--

KILL HER

But, I really--

REACHING OUT, I TOOK HER BY THE HAIR AND RIPPED HER FUCKING HEAD OFF AT THE NECK.

...It took a minute. Panting, squinting in the sunlight, I slowly registered the decapitation. I had...beheaded Nepeta. That would surely stop the screaming. Turning back, glancing around, slowly returning to the hive...I made my march deliberate, carrying Nepeta by her hair. Then the others started up...Equius, closer to the hive, murmured to me in his strange hum of hero-worship.
Highblood...

And Eridan, from the rooftop, groaned in pain...
Gamzee...

...Tavros. I had to get to Tavros. But first...


~HoNk~


Inside the hive. I didn't have to look down to see I was carrying more heads than I'd last remembered. Equius, Nepeta, Eridan, and Feferi in my left. Terezi, Aradia, Sollux, Vriska, and Kanaya in my right.

SPRING CLEANING, IF YOU WILL.

Not having much of a place to put them, I tossed them across the floor of the living room, watching with some sick sort of fascination as they rolled like uneven marbles, bouncing a margin every time they rolled on their noses. Karkat still occupied to couch, but he rarely said anythin--

Sick fucker...
"Not you too..."
Yes, me too! You can't keep doing this to them!
"MOTHERFUCKER, DON'T MAKE ME HURT YOU."
Sick psycho, I trusted you...
"No..."
I fucking kept all the others from killing you...
"KARKAT, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
Now they're all dead because of you, because I stopped them from killing you!
"SHUT! UP!!"

THAT FUCKER HAD TO DIE! I LAUNCHED MYSELF AT HIM AND MADE QUICK WORK OF RENDING HIS HEAD FROM HIS FUCKING SHOULDERS. IT WAS EASY ENOUGH; HIS NECK WAS ALREADY FUCKING BROKEN AND HIS HALF-ROTTED SKIN BARELY HELD TOGETHER AS IT WAS. IT MADE THIS SICK RIPPING NOISE, LIKE FUCKING WET VELCRO OR SOME SHIT! THREW IT AGAINST THE MOTHERFUCKING WALL AND WATCHED HIM FALL AMONG ALL THE OTHERS...

"...Karkat...?"

No voices. Not even Karkat's accusations or Nepeta's screams. All gone...

"TAVROS?!" I called, unbearably loud, even for myself. I just couldn't control volume anymore. "TAV~ROS?!" I sang playfully. No reply came as I made my way back through the hall, a stench of death unnoticeable to me permeating the air. Tavros sometimes told me of the stink, but I'd never smelled it like he described. 'Like a nightmare,' that's what he'd say.

Peeking into the bedroom, I found him on the bed, as always. I couldn't move him around with me anymore, and he was beginning to get terrible bedsores I'd tried to relieve multiple times, but he just wasn't healing for some reason... "Hey there, Tavvie..." I whispered hoarsely, sitting on the corner of the bed. He remained silent, eyes closed. If I looked at them right, his eyes seemed to actually sink in somewhat. But he was no less beautiful, even with the bruises of settling blood and bedsores. "Tavros...? Are you awake...?" I wondered if he'd heard what I'd done, if that's why he didn't speak. "I just want to tell you I'm sorry...This really wasn't the plan..." Tavros never moved, and I realized this was the tension of a lover's quarrel. "Tavros...? Do... YOU HATE...me?"

Did no reply make it true? Turning, I saw him lying peacefully where I'd left him, tucked in as neatly as a hospital patient. "You look so peaceful...when you're...sleeping..." I watched him a moment, careful and patient as any respectable lover would, an adoring gaze of love. Then something fluttered beneath Tavros' eyelids, his fading eyes moving of their own accord. He'd not woken up in a long while, and I, eager to see him again, scooted closer.

But then those eyes opened and they remained white, so clouded they seemed pupiless, and brown blood I never wished to see poured in tiny rivulets. NO, I NEVER TOUCHED HIM! THAT CAN'T BE BLOOD, I NEVER HURT HIM! THEY MUST BE TEARS, THEY MUST BE...

"No, Tavros...! DON'T CRY!" Reaching out, intent on comforting him, I pet his horns softly, just like he'd always loved. "I just want you to..."

RIP!

"...BE HAPPY."

What had I done? WHAT HAD I FUCKING DONE?! His head between my hands (when had I pulled it?), dripping brown blood (when had I grabbed hold?) that leaked for gravity's sake. "I'M SORRY!!" I screamed, turning back to his body, then his head, his body his head.

KILL THEM ALL, GAMZEE.

"NO!!" I cried, fighting the sound of my own voice in my brain. Then another, smaller...
Please, I'm scared, Gamz...
Tavros'. In my mind.

"W-what the fuck did you just say to me...?"

Whispers. Like everyone was speaking all at once, layer over layer, their voices echoing around, bouncing off every corner of my thinkpan and returning to haunt me again...and again...and again...

"MOTHERFUCKER, I CAN'T HEAR YOU! SPEAK UP!"

Whispers, whispers, on and on and on and on until they reached a pentacle of white noise, fading all at once and leaving an eerie silence which Tavros broke.

"I think you need some serious help."
Third installment to the SoberGamzee Chronicle, may be the last one. I don't know, do you think I should make one last one and kill Gamzee in the end?

Amazing animation that inspired this, by :iconmangalone: ==> [link]

Also inspired by Master Yogi's video "sObEr HaLlOwEeN", which genuinely freaked me out ==> [link]
© 2011 - 2024 shikamarugirl818
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zoeythara's avatar
that's awesome ;~; man poor Gamzee >///< I love this writing though xD and I love the animation that inspired this ^^
gosh I cried when he talked about tavros >//< "those must be tears" man that did it for me XD

great work :love: